Olivia's Story

Hello, my name is Olivia and I’m 18 years old.

When I was 8 years old my mum was diagnosed with MS. The problem is, no-one ever told me what was wrong with her - I just saw her symptoms get worse and rapidly deteriorate.

Now she needs to be hoisted into bed or a chair, cannot move any of her body apart from her head slightly, is fed through a peg tube in her stomach, has a catheter and district nurses come in to empty her bowels. Worst of all now is that she finds it very difficult to talk clearly and it’s very difficult to understand her.

She has had agency carers come in to help her for the past few years but it has still been very hard on me, especially when I was at school up until last year.

My Dad works full time and my brother and sister are both older than me and haven’t lived at home for ages. When I started secondary school no-one new about my home situation. I never invited friends back to my house which they found really weird - and the few times I did they totally freaked out. My behaviour and standard of work at school never faltered, even though I was crumbling inside.

Only up until about 3 years ago I never sought help at school. Once I did, they encouraged me to see a doctor as they believed I was suffering from depression. I was - very badly. At one point I even considered commiting suicide. I realise now it was a cry for help, but luckily for me I did seek help before it was too late. They put me on anti-depressants and had to see a psychiatrist which I hated. At that point though I started to see a counsellor which came into school once a week - and that helped me tremendously.

I came to realise that it wasn’t so much the actual caring which I found difficult - it was just being at home around my Mum. It was as if when I opened the front door after a day at school all my problems would start, and then when I left for school the next morning I would be free again.

The problem was, the majority of my teachers still didn’t understand (even though they had been told) and I was told off for handing in work late or falling asleep in lessons. Some though did understand and would give me extensions for work, or wouldn’t question me if I had to leave the classroom suddenly. One teacher in particular was a life line for me - she would let me use her office at the end of school so that I could complete my homework while at school rather than go home and struggle to do it there.

People used to tell me there was light at the end of the tunnel. I never believed them as back then there wasn’t even a glimmer for me. However, last year I went travelling, and am now planning my career. I’m the one controlling my life now and making the decisions.

The one thing which I totally regret is that no-one was there to support me when I was younger and I feel that I lost out on a lot of my childhood. I believe that there should be more knowledge (especially in schools) about young carers; both educating the teachers as well as pupils. Also though that when young adults like my Mum become ill, the health professionals need to also take note that they have got young children which also need help and support.