My Girlfriend is her brother's Carer, he is 18 but has the mental age of a baby, he needs Dressing, Feeding, and is doubley incontinent, he wears nappies which she has to change very regularly, he Cries constantly and my girlfriend is always tired, he gets bottle fed or has liquidised food, she says it is like having a real baby to look after, she has taken control of looking after him since her mum found she could not cope anymore Dad left when Anthony was 6 months old, she says the only way she can cope is by forgetting how old he is and treating him like a baby, I don't think that is healthy, Who is right?

Unfortunatly starkwilder none of us can play god and change things- and if ur girlfreind does find it eaiser to forget about his age isnt such a huge issue- often carers do find it hard to manage caring and a normal life and there is no wonder why she is often tierd- my advice is not to worry about it too much- give her space and im sure deep down inside she knows her bro's real age- but it might just be that she finds it easier to cope with taking the age barrier out of things. Treat her occasionally to a movie night or somthing- and make sure she knows that u love her and that she does a brilliant job caring 4 her brother.

i agree with kiwi maybe every now and then buy her some flowers or chocolates or somthing to make her feel nice

Totally agree with kiwi and jazjazzy. ur girlfriend is doin best she can. I f forgetting makes it easier, then let her get on with it, as long as it doesn't get too out of hand. I love my younger brother dearly, and if anythng happened to him i know i would be there for him, mental age of a baby or not. Just show her you care and want to be there for her and her brother when times are tough. She'll appreciate that along with the odd small gift and movie night. I f she can't get out much because of caring for her brother, go to her, make her feel like someone special, and that she is not alone.

I afraid you cant really change the way he is looked after

My sister is disabled and she is seven with the mental age of a four yr old

Lotty